Below are 10 VERY important points that I've learned from this show:
1. In order to look like a vampire, you must look as though you've fallen into a pail of flour. You got to look like a person fit for pantomime. Or as pale as Death. Oh wait, vampires ARE dead. Silly me! Oh never mind....
2. In order to eradicate your enemy once and for all, you must get rid of the 'surprise element'. You must announce in a LOUD VOICE to your enemy that you are there in order to give your enemy time to charge, fly into the air towards you and crash into you as the both of you try to crash into as many trees as possible so that THEY can kill you instead. Did I just not make PERFECT sense?
3. In order to attract drop-dead gorgeous guys in your life, you must be/have:
a. WEEPY
b. PATHETIC
c. EXTREMELY LOW-SELF ESTEEM
d. MOPEY
e. THE MOST SOUR-PUSS FACE EVER
4. If you want to kill yourself, you must do it in style. Do it in ITALY. In front of a crowd. And before you die, you must disrobe yourself. Which brings me to my next point.
5. Vampires DO NOT combust into flames in sunlight. They SPARKLE!!!!! Which means they have in-born bling-blings!!! How envious!!!!!
6. Even if you are a vampire which is over 100 years old, you MUST attend high school in order to appear mysterious, and dangerous so that girls in school have something to
7. The vampire 'claims' that as a result of an 'adrenaline rush', he is able to run at super-duper-speed and stop the out-of-control car with his hand and crunch the car instead with his 'adrenaline-rush-super-powers'. WOW! In that case, I need to stock up on Epi-Pens.
8. If you really LOVE someone and want to PROTECT them, announce the break-up in the middle of the forest and then leave them all alone and LOST in the forest so that they can be another vampire's meal. That's the POWER of LOVE!
9. There ARE herbivore vampires!
10. In order for girls to be swooning over the show over and over again melodically, have Bruno Mars write and sing 'It Will Rain' and forever Twilight will be seared in your hearts and minds as you hear that song on repetitive mode! (No wonder it's been raining 3 to 4 times a day over here!)
11. Oh and yes, before I forget, if you want the greatest sex in the entire world, be a vampire. Nothing beats vampire sex!
HAHAHA! You must be suffering with insomnia if you are watching Twilight movies! I suffer from boredom on the far edge of civilization. I read the first book. It was an OK vampire book. It's main selling factor is the whole story takes place an hour from where I live. I also watched the first movie which is filmed an hour from where I live. The second movie was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, the worst acting. It still had great scenery. It is amazing how writers twist the vampire legend to fit with a plot of a teen drama. Of course, all the vampire TV shows are the same as they all feature a special vampire talent for being able to hang around during daylight. I still prefer Ian Somerhalder as a vampire over all of them. :)
ReplyDeleteWOW! It must be wonderful to be living near such beauty. I did not get to the beautiful scenery parts as I was bored out of my mind! The moment I saw the flour-faced-boy, my mind was shut closed! Hahahaha! It looked so stupid! Hehehe...
DeleteThe scariest vampire movie I saw was the one Christopher Lee acted in. That was one scary movie!!!
If you got to the flour-faced boy, you must have seen scenery because they show it as Bella is driving to her new home in Forks.
DeleteI don't think I saw that Christopher Lee movie. The scariest vampire story I ever read was the one Stephen King wrote. I can't remember the name of it, but I remember going to bed one night and the light of the moon was coming through the opened window and shining on the opposite wall. I would have had a heart attack if any shadow would have appeared. I got out of bed closed the window and the curtains. hahaha
I flip channels when it gets boring! HAHA! :P
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